*Insert a Title*

How honest should I be?
I've discovered about myself that I rarely honest with myself about things that I don't want to face. I just tend to ignore them, push them aside, tell myself I'll deal with it later.. But then the night comes and I have nothing to distract me. It's just me. It leaves me to deal with it and thus leaves me awake when I should be sleeping.

It drives me crazy.

I'm finding myself torn and dealing with these emotions that I didn't think I would have. I don't know what to do about them so I just don't do anything. Healthy? I think not.

I am going to dinner with a good friend tomorrow and that'll probably help. She is an amazing person that really understands me and if she doesn't just lets me vent until I feel better anyways. She is the only one who I can really go to (other than my mom) and really give me fantastic advice. I can't wait. I hate that we live in different cities.. I need help dealing with this silly out-of-nowhere emotions and she's the one to do that. Thank goodness for her. She's a blessing, for sure.

Me and Mary
=)

New Year

The new year (decade, actually) is coming upon us and I made a big life change: I am newly single. I dated Tyler fora little over 2 years and he is a truly amazing person; we just weren't meant for each other. We ended very amicably and still remain friends, thank goodness. I am doing alright. Luckily, I've been with family, making the reality easier. I have a feeling it'll be much harder when I go back down to Fort Myers and I'm alone. But I'll make it through.

I am going to SeaWorld with my mom, niece Katelynn, brother Mark, and my very good friend Elise, on Wednesday. My brother, Ben, works there and got us all free tickets!! I am very excited and hope that the weather returns to its normal warm winter weather. Tyler will also come down next week and we'll head to Universal once or twice to use us the last week of our annual passes. We definitely got our use out of it and it was very fun.

Then, it's my 21st birthday!!!! That will probably be uneventful, but fun, nonetheless. I hope to catch up with some friends this week and keep it a relaxing break before returning to a very difficult upcoming semester (anatomy and physiology 1, organic chemistry, and dynamics of aging -- fun?? I think so). I hope everyone enjoys the holiday season and stays safe. =)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, my friends!
I had a pretty splendid day. I opened some presents, ate some good food, and hung out with my family. I got a lot of clothes [which i picked out --so i knew i'd love them] a new coach purse::
(Coach.com)
as well as various items, such as a signed Paula Deen Cookbook, Sperrys, and sunglasses. My brother got me a much needed DVD player. Yay.

Our family doesn't really have any "traditions" that we do on Christmas. We bascially wake up, open presents, eat breakfast, lounge, eat lunch/dinner, hang out. This year, we strayed away from our traditional dinner (which exactly replicated our Thanksgiving Dinner) and it was a nice break and tasted great. I made this recipe::

• 8 cups broccoli florets
  
• 4 garlic cloves, peeled and thinly sliced
• Good olive oil
• 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 2 teaspoons grated lemon zest
• 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 3 tablespoons pine nuts, toasted
• 1/3 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 tablespoons julienned fresh basil leaves (about 12 leaves)

Place the broccoli florets on a sheet pan large enough to hold them in a single layer. Toss the garlic on the broccoli and drizzle with 5 tablespoons olive oil. Sprinkle with the salt and pepper. Roast for 20 to 25 minutes, until crisp-tender and the tips of some of the florets are browned.

Remove the broccoli from the oven and immediately toss with 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil, the lemon zest, lemon juice, pine nuts, Parmesan, and basil. Serve hot. (Courtesy of Food Network)

It turned out very good. I was worried because I had never made it or tasted it and it was the only vegetable we had, so if I messed up, no veggies for us. Luckily, it was good. (I omitted the lemon zest though).

I hope within the next week to hang out with some of my friends. I have a week until New Year's, and then about a week until my birthday. Don't plan to be too busy, but hopefully enjoyable nonetheless. I love the holidays :)

Again, Merry Christmas!

Home Sweet Home

I made it home =) and shopped, all.day.long.
It was marvelous.
I also got a pedicure.
I also founnd out I got straight A's this semester (in CHEMISTRY 2!!)
I also got to see my beautiful niece and mini-me, Katelynn (and of course my wonderful family).
It was a good day. No, it was a great day.

I hope tomorrow is just as good. My Aunt and Uncle fly into town and then in the evening we are going to P.F. Chang's to celebrate Ben's graduation from the culinary arts program. He's officially a chef. Yay.

I am still in a constant battle with myself trying to figure out my future. I believe I know the answer, and in the end, logic over emotions will win. It's hard to deal with some things, but I have to know I'm doing it for the right reason, and I am. Sometimes it's difficult to publicly (ha, like anyone reads this, but I can hope) announce that I am having problems, even though I'm hardly giving any detail. I'm not a very outwardly emotional person [excect to 2-3 people] and I judge myself far too harshly, but I think it's helping. It gets my mind in line and allows me to express myself to someone, anyone.

Anyways, on a positive note, it's almost Christmas and I'm thrilled. About 2 weeks after that is my 21st birthday. I get to eat my fave restaurant -- Carrabba's, Yippie!!! Then, when my parents get's back from the cruise, I get to eat Kobe with my family. Good food and great company, it'll be pure bliss.

Have a blessed day!

Tomorrow.

I get to go home tomorrow.
Well, maybe.
I take my FINAL EXAM tomorrow in Chemistry 2!! I have a solid A in that class, so to keep an A in that class, I need to get at least a 72 on the final. That's a great place to be, if you ask me! IF I finish at a decent hour, I'm going to just drive home, if not, I have to stay and leave early in the morning.

I am officially finished with all my Christmas shopping (except for Aunt Jane and Uncle Dave -- but mom promises to help me with that)
A few weeks ago, I managed to find a gold Italian bracelet on the ground, that had been run over a few times.. I toook it around to a few places and ended up with $320!! That paid for all my Christmas presents. Thank Goodness for being at the right place at the right time.

I am very excited to go home, and I'll be there for a while, through my birthday (JANUARY 9!!!!!) I'll be 21!! Yippie.

Hopefully I'll get to hang out with old friends and just relax before starting a crazy semester. More to come :D

All sorts.

I am going through a very difficult time. I don't really want to go into details, but the conflict is between my heart and my head. I am a VERY logic oriented person, definitely not feeling oriented so I know where it will most likely lead me and it is extremely difficult. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers while my mind and heart battle it out.

On other notes, Tyler and I exchanged Christmas presents last night.. He got me Harry Potter (YAY), but I asked him for it and it was very expected. BUT he also got me a $50 spa gift certificate!!!! Which, unfortunately, has created a new problem... what to get?!?! They have 4 different pedicures types -- tropical, peppermint, peppermint-lavender, and citrus and honey. But they also have a 30 minute tranquility massage in my price range.. Oh boy, what is a girl to do?!

We started off at TGIFriday's for dinner and then ventured over to the Cape to look at christmas lgihts. They really go all out over in the Cape. It's amazing. It was beautiful and we put Christmas music on in the background to really get us in the mood. Very enjoyable. Then, we went back to my place and opened presents and made a gingerbread house!!!


Tyler starting to make out gingerbread house.. Making sure it all stays together. :)

Me, with the decorating bag.

Our finished product :) It turned out pretty good and was very fun to make. Have you ever made a gingerbread house??

Funeral...

I attended a funeral today for my mom's cousin, Bud. I called him Uncle Bud. I have no clue why :) oka
He was a tremendous person. He was in the military for the better half of his life as a pilot and at one point, working for the NSA, he LITERALLY had one of those jobs where he could say "If i tell you, I'll have to kill you." That's just the coolest.
Although we saw his death coming (he had pancreatic cancer), and we got to say goodbye, it was still hard.
The funeral was good. It was short and to the point, but very personal and filled with the people who loved him.

Unfortunately, at times like this (funerals in general) I get really sad. Obviously about the person whose funeral I'm attending but it reminds me of Andy's death. It's been 3 years since his death but memories of the funeral and the day I found out he died, and saying goodbye to him are still very much in my mind.
I know that he's in a better place, and that the feelings never really go away, they just get easier to deal with, but I miss him.

To cover the pain, I'll just bury myself in chemistry and christmas :)

Running

I hate running.
I started to like running about a year ago, and then I got hurt, had surgery, stopped running, and started to hate running again.
I attempted to start running when it was SUPER hot and I was just miserable. It wasn't the pain of running and it wasn't the lack of motivation. I just HATED HATED HATED being SO hot and it's miserable to me. So, I stopped.
I decided, since it's colder again, that perhaps if I get back into the habit of running and it's not so bad, that I will like running again come the hotter months. Tyler would like me to do that 5k Edison Festival of Lights, in February. If I start now, and continue 5-6 days a week, I could be ready to at least finish before some people.
Now that I have a goal and some motivation, maybe liking running will stick.
IF not, I asked for a bike for Christmas, so I'll get some exercise.

Also, maybe I'll post a little more. =D