A good friend recently got engaged -- a friend I've known for my whole life and is a year younger than me... making her 19.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy that she's happy and her ring is just absolutely STUNNING, and really who am I to judge someone else's relationship, I just have some mixed feelings about it.
Here are a few things I think should be in order for 2 people to get married::
(not judging any one couple, just from watching A LOT of silly high school friends go through it)
1. HAVE MONEY -- I'm not saying you need to be rich or anything, but enough to support yourself and your significant other. I completely understand unfortunate situations (like loss of employment) where help might be needed, but if you aren't married and don't have a job, save up for a while. A job at Subway or McDonalds probably won't support you AND someone else...
2. Date for more than a year (or 2) -- Those first months feelings are fantastic, but you need to see EVERY side of the potential person you'll be spending the rest of your life with -- not just the "we're still new at this -- I'm on my best behavior" side.
3. Be 21. You should be able to drink at your own wedding for goodness sake.
4. If you have to hide it from your parents -- you're probably too young or not mature enough.
5. Just because you are in love, or have been dating a long time, doesn't mean you're ready for marriage. Marriage is a serious commitment that takes a lot of work. Just a few things you have to pay for all on your own::
-insurance
-rent
-utilities
-car payments
-cable/internet
-cell phone
-FOOD!!
-entertainment...all that date money is now used on more important things.
those add up to alot of money...
6. Have a plan. You need to be in sync with your partner and know what they have planned for the future, making sure it matches.
That's all I have for now.. Just my opinions =)
And congratulations Elise and David...
The beautiful ring on the hand of Elise Nicole =)
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Sounds like you've given this whole thing quite a bit of thought already. It is weird to suddenly see friends you grew up with suddenly getting engaged/married/etc. You bring up some good points regarding prerequisites for marriage, especially #2. However, if someone took it as a checklist of sorts, it would be intimidating to most, in my opinion (#5!!... holy crap, I'm not even close to the point of marriage and that stands frightening enough on its own!).
ReplyDeleteAnd #4 made me smile.
Signed,
-[MyGiftIsMySong]-